EP: 200 Can you really “have it all”

 Back in the day, somebody told me that you can’t really have it all. 

They had asked me the question, “Keenya, do you really think that you can have a successful relationship, a successful business, and really be successful in life? Do you really think you can have it all?” 

And my answer was YES. 

And they said, “no, you can’t”

And I was like, “they don’t really know who I am”

So we started the article by asking the question, “can you really have it all?”  Honestly, my answer is YES.

Let me just say that I feel like I need to forgive that guy that told me I can’t have it all. 

Because every time I think about that, I always think about him and it makes me upset.

So I probably need to forgive him for that. 

Well I forgave him after this episode. 

But when he said to me, “I don’t really think you can have it all” 

Here’s what I feel was happening with him. I feel like what he was saying is that if you’re gonna have success in one thing, then you’re gonna have to neglect other areas of your life.

And I don’t really agree with that. 

I don’t feel like you have to do that. 

Yes. Anytime you’re gonna go after something, you’re gonna have to sacrifice something else, right? 

For example, let’s say, I’m going after losing a hundred pounds. 

I’m not going after a hundred pounds, but I’m just saying. 

If my goal is to go after a hundred pound weight loss, then I am going to have to sacrifice eating the foods that do not help me with weight loss. 

I’m gonna have to sacrifice some sleep, some hangout time so that I can spend time in the gym. 

I’m probably gonna have to sacrifice some of my TV time, because oftentimes when we’re watching TV, we’re also snacking. 

So yes, there’s a sacrifice that goes along with that. 

But you still get to eat.

You’re still enjoying eating your food. It’s just different types of foods. 

And so when he and I were talking about this, he was talking about how business focused I am, how entrepreneurial I am. 

And he felt that I couldn’t go after my life’s dreams or my life’s goals. 

He felt like I couldn’t go after being financially successful. And at some point in time, couldn’t have a successful relationship and then maybe have kids. 

Now if he didn’t have good eyes to see, he could easily say that right now in my life, because I have a successful business, because I don’t have kids, because I don’t have a husband. 

That improves his theory right.

But honestly in my situation, that is not the case because here’s the deal, I could still have my successful business. 

I could still be married, and I probably could have my ex-husband’s kids by now if I had chosen to stay with a cheater. 

If I chose to stay with a cheater, I could have all three of those things.

The only reason why I don’t have a husband and kids right now specifically is because I had one and I left him because he was cheating. 

You know what I mean? 

And because I’ve chosen over the last six or seven years to focus on healing. 

Because the last thing I wanted to do was to again have my business, meet a man, and then break this dude down to his brake pads because I’m still hurting from what happened with my ex.

I chose not to go that route. 

I chose that I was going to focus on my healing and making sure that I healed childhood wounds, just a bunch of different things. 

So that way once I do meet someone, I could have a successful relationship. 

But what does that look like if I have a successful business today and meet somebody tomorrow?

Well, what that looks like is one, I have to meet somebody who is confident in who they are. 

They know who they are. 

They know they’re child of God. They just know their own thing going on. 

I don’t wanna say this negatively, but they want a woman who isn’t needy.

Meaning that I’m already in therapy, I’m already working on my daddy issues. I’m already working with God on some different things.

I’ve already worked on my credit. I’m already working on saving and retirement. I’m working on buying a house. 

So I’m not needy. 

I don’t have this need for all this stuff he could give me or whatever.

But he wants someone who wants to be a compliment to him. 

I still wanna be the “weaker sex”. 

I still want him to be masculine and be able to come into my femininity. 

I don’t wanna run the house. I still want the safety of a man. 

And if he has kids, great. 

If we adopt, great.  

So I have to have somebody who says, “I want a woman that is a compliment to me and I wanna give her all of what I have, but she doesn’t need all of what I have”

Does that make sense?

And so I have to meet someone who is at that place now, not Andrew Tate. 

Because listen, Andrew Tate doesn’t know I know how to swing a bat. 

I will beat that dude down to his brake path. 

We don’t need an Andrew Tate in our life. 

But I need somebody who is confident and who knows who they are and all the things. 

I know women who are successful in their lives, who are successful in their health and their spirituality, and they have a man that compliments them. 

You can have all of those things. But you just can’t have it with the wrong people. 

So I could have great friendships but I can’t have great friendships with people who are jealous of me or envious of me. Or who wants what I have, if I have everything. 

I have to be around people that are complimenting. 

If somebody today said to me, “you can’t have it all” 

I would say that’s not true. 

You can have it all if you know how to balance your life.  

What does that mean? So I run a business and I meet people all the time that say, “you work your business 9-5 like a job”

And I’m like, “yeah, why? I have employees. So, here’s the time that we work and here’s the time I’m available to them. So we run our business during that time”

This still gives me nights, weekends, vacations and all that type of stuff. 

Because if he’s got a job or he has a business, he still has to run and operate those things.

And then there’s nights, weekends, and vacations. 

Y’all see what I’m saying? 

And so all of that can still happen. 

I think that people forget that we are in a different time where people aren’t just getting married.

So, back in the day, you would hear all these stories about men and women. 

They would marry so young and they would be together forever. 

Where he worked and she didn’t. 

The wife was at home. Both of them are amazing. 

Whether a woman works full-time or she doesn’t work, both are beautiful. 

But here is the thing to understand, what worked in 1920 may not necessarily work in 2023. 

One because of inflation. I think gas right now in California is about $6. 

I don’t even eat eggs, but eggs are the price of a Mercedes-Benz right about now. 

Like all the different things are going on.

And so to live from a technical standpoint, in general, you need two people working. 

And then if you have kids, then you’ve gotta definitely have two people working because of daycare. 

Even if the wife or the man stays home, that other person has got to be making a significant amount of money in order to sustain the life that you’re trying to have at home. 

But that doesn’t mean you have to work 12 hours a day, 10 hours a day. No! 

You just choose what it is that your life looks like to balance that out. 

We just recently as a company, made a decision that we’re going to a four day work week. 

And we’re gonna start in February, but really roll it out more in March or April.

And so why do we do that? One, I want more time. 

I want more time for myself, more time to do the things that I wanna do. 

And so I said, “how can I have Fridays off?” 

The only way to have Fridays off is if my whole team has Fridays off. 

Why is that? Because if my whole team has Fridays off, then nobody’s trying to message me on Fridays.

Everybody’s out doing their own thing. 

So I introduced it to my team and they were all like, “this is awesome” 

So they would work longer hours Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to still get paid what they would’ve got paid on Friday. 

But now the whole team has Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays off, and this is my way of having time, giving my team time, and then everybody gets more balance.

I guarantee you that my staff will say that they don’t know what to do with Friday initially, and eventually it’s gonna be like, “Oh, on Fridays I’m gonna go and do like this or whatever” 

It’s like Friday, Saturday, they’re gonna get to do a lot more things.  

On Fridays, that might be my date where I say, “I’m going on dates, I’m gonna set up dates, and I’m gonna go on dates on Fridays for breakfast, lunch, dinner”

That may be the day that I do Zumba at the gym, early in the morning. 

That may be the day when I do swimming or whatever it is. 

But this is me saying, “Hey, you can have it all if you want to, but you’ve gotta choose what that looks like in your life and you’ve gotta choose the right people in your life that want to do that kind of life with you”

So if you got somebody around you telling you, “You can’t do this and this” 

You just gotta get around new people. 

Doesn’t mean you need to dismiss everybody and go on a social media rant. 

I’m cutting everybody off. It’s 2023. 

No, it just means that you gotta go, “how can I get around people that actually agree that I can have it all, that I can be all that I can and celebrate that” 

Like last night when I went up for prayer, a lady was prophesying over me and she just started prophesying that I was gonna meet more people who love the light that I carry. 

It’s just so happy and joyful about all the things that are going on and can celebrate me.

But not only that, they will get to know me, not the business but me. 

And I’ve been praying for that forever. 

Because I meet a lot of great people, but I’m just like “I wanna be the goofy me, the Jesus me, the business me” 

And she was just praying for it.

And so that means that I’ll be around even more people that may just say, “Go girl, we see you go girl. Oh, you go to Europe. Let me see who I know I can set you up on a date with, or whatever”  

Or someone who says, “Text me when you get to the restaurant. Text me when you get home” To make sure that I’m okay.

Because they want me to have it all because the truth be told, “I want you to have it all” 

Everything that God says that you can have, I want you to have. 

And that means that you have to get away from the people that say you can’t have it, or say that you’re too much or you’re doing too much. 

So you can actually get what it is that you want and what God has for you. 


So to answer that question one more time, can you have it all? You absolutely can. 

You have to find out what it all means to you and figure out what that looks like for you, and then go and get it. 

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